Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
