Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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