hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
