Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I party with great urgency now.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
