Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
