Cold hands, warm shart.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
