for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
