I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
