I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I would ride that face into the sunset
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
