Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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