I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
