the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
