Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
