Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
