its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
