I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
