I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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