You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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