I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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