She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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