Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
