i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
