Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
