Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize