9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He felt like a one man threesome
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
