No awkward lesbian experiences without me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize