I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
