ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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