I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how does that bad decision feel?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
