I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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