I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
