She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
