the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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