Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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