DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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