So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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