I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
