You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
