and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
