her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He passed out mid-signature
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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