Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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