oh god the rape fog is back!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He passed out mid-signature
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
