please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize