we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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