Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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