Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
