So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
