i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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