i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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