Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
