i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
