Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
