I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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