Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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