I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
