This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
