so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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