So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
