check it out our google latitudes are spooning
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
