I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
