Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The chlamydia really affected his face.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My ass is underappreciated
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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