I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
